“‘These children are ours; when they are sick, there shouldn’t be barriers,’ said a mother advocating for systemic change through the newly launched Foster Families Society.”
When Wadha Al Marri rushed her infant son to an emergency department in Abu Dhabi in 2019, his temperature had reached 40°C and she feared the worst.
Instead of being taken directly for treatment, she said she was stopped at reception and asked for documents her foster son did not yet have. “I offered my own ID. I offered my bank card. I said, ‘Please, just treat him,’” Al Marri recalled. “He was burning with fever, and I was standing there crying.”
The child was eventually treated after medical staff intervened, but the experience remains one of several incidents that led Al Marri and other foster mothers to push for systemic change through the newly launched Foster Families Society. “Until you live it, you don’t realise how complicated simple things can become,” she said.
Wadha Al Marri, now mother to foster sons Theyab, 7, and Ghaith, 6, as well as her biological son Ali, said healthcare was just one of several logistical challenges she faced.
Despite paying more than Dh8,000 for private health insurance for one of her children during an earlier stage of the process, she said some hospitals still required identity documents. “Insurance was there. The child was there. But the system still said no.”
Fatmah Al Muraikhi, another foster mother involved in the newly launched Foster Families Society, said medical challenges often continue long after a child leaves hospital.
“Sometimes a child comes to you with almost no medical history,” she said. “You don’t know what tests they’ve had, what support they might need, or what needs to be followed up. You start building that file yourself.”
Al Muraikhi added that many foster families end up arranging full health screenings, developmental assessments, and specialist appointments in the early months after placement. “People see the joy of bringing a child home,” she said. “They don’t always see the appointments, the follow-ups, and the extra costs that come with making sure that child has everything they need.”
Even naming her children became an emotional challenge for Wadha Al Marri, with one of her sons waiting nearly a year and a half before his name was officially approved after repeated requests to authorities.
She had hoped to name her first foster son Theyab in honour of her late father, who had encouraged her fostering journey while he was in hospital in 2013. “I told them, ‘This is the name my father chose before he passed away,’” she said.
However, the process for her second son took even longer. Authorities initially assigned a different name, which she felt did not reflect her family. “After more than a year of back-and-forth, the child was officially named Ghaith. People think fostering means you simply welcome a child home,” she said. “They don’t see the paperwork, the waiting, the fighting.”
Those experiences now inform her work as manager of the newly launched Foster Families Society in Abu Dhabi, established to support foster families and push for clearer, more unified procedures across government entities.
“When I started, I thought I would just knock on a door, choose a child, and bring them home,” Al Marri said. “I didn’t realise I would spend years navigating different offices, repeating the same explanations, and learning procedures through trial and error.”
She first applied to foster in 2013 after years of fertility treatments abroad, finally receiving her first placement in 2019. “Every time a door closed, I kept knocking again.”
Through the association, Al Marri said she hopes future foster families will not have to go through the same process alone. As a board member and manager, she aims to help create a unified guide covering medical procedures, documentation and psychological support. “We want mothers to know exactly where to go, who to speak to, and what to expect,” she said. “I believe things will become easier. This association can change a lot.”
Hoda Al Mashjari said one of the organisation’s priorities is helping families navigate systems that often operate in silos. “For years, families were learning everything through trial and error,” she said. “One office would send you somewhere else, another would ask for different paperwork, and many parents simply didn’t know what the next step was.”
She added that the association aims to work with public and private entities to create clearer pathways for healthcare, documentation and family support. “Our goal is that no mother feels she is fighting these battles alone,” she said.
While acknowledging improvements in recent years, she noted that gaps remain, particularly when systems designed around biological families do not immediately accommodate foster arrangements. “These children are ours,” she said. “When they are sick, there shouldn’t be barriers.”
